Stuck in the Airport Because a Volcano Has Gone Off

Apr 20, 2010

Volcanoes are so lame. They never go off when you want them to. They never went off when I was in school and didn’t feel like going for the day no matter how much I wished it so. They still don’t go off when I don’t want to go to work.

No instead they wait. They wait until you’re travelling. They wait until they can ruin your perfectly good trip to France. They wait until you’re away from a delicious sidewalk cafe and stuck in an airport and then boom! They go off and ruin your trip.

Well we know you’re bored. You’re stuck in an airport and it’s not looking like it’s gonna get better. But these apps will get you through it in style (or not).


The first thing you must do is to let your friends know that yes, they still need to feed the cat for a few days, that you won’t be back for little Jimmy’s birthday party and that indeed you’re stuck in an airport because a stupid volcano went off. Then you need to kvetch. Don’t worry, you’ve earned it.


iHandy Level Free

OK, it’s still early on this stuck journey and you’re done kvetching for now. Now it’s time to do some good and be productive. What better way than to go around and help those airport workers stuck with the same lame predicament you are (except that, you know, they get to go home tonight). Level some art at the airport and finish knowing that you’ve contributed in a time of trial. You are a better person. You really are.


Foursquare – Find Places to Eat, Drink, and Visit

While you’re walking around straightening art why not become the mayor of the ENTIRE AIRPORT!?! You own this place. You’ve been here for hours. People will bow down when they see you coming.


fitMusic Mobile

Still got some energy in you? Might as well make use of it. If you have some legwarmers and a leotard in your bag there’s no reason you can’t use this opportunity to do some aerobics. Sure, people will think you’re strange but you’ve been sitting in an airport for two days. No one will judge and at least you’ll entertain all those without a smart device. Yes, you’re dancing like you’ve never danced before. You go you maniac!

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Discovery Channel

Just look at that dumb person next to you. They are so annoying. They keep looking at you and, you know, doing stuff. In fact all the people around you are annoying. How is it possible that you’ve gotten stuck in an airport full of annoying people? What are the chances?

You know what you should do? You should show them how smart you are. You should tell them about how wrong they are. Yeah that’s right, use this app and the myth busters to make these dumb annoying people a bit smarter. I’m sure they’ll thank you for it later. You might want to keep the leotard and legwarmers on for this one though, you know, just in case these people have anger issues from sitting in an airport for two days. Not like you. You’re perfectly serene. Serenity NOW!



Just because you’re sleeping in an airport in two day old underwear you don’t have to be one of those weirdos in leotards and legwarmers doing aerobics (well, not anymore at least). You can be getting smarter and more cultured by watching TED talks. Maybe there’s one on volcanoes?



It’s three days in now and Ocarina is your app. Why? Because blowing into your phone to make pretty sounds is about all you have left in you right now.


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