Stickman Warriors Online: Epic War – Anti-Gravity and Ads

Aug 6, 2017
Arcade
stickmanwarriors

Stickman Warriors Online: Epic War is a physics combat simulator that pits you against enemies ready to beat you to a pulp. Except there’s no gravity.

The lack of any kind of gravity is what makes this combat simulator interesting – a countdown begins, then intense punk rock music begins to play. After that, you’re floating around in a geometric shape, beating on your enemies as they fly past you and try to dictate their direction towards punching your face.

Each character, including yourself, has a limited pool of health that is removed when you get hit. The health system is obscured, instead providing only different colours changing based on your health. The worse off you are, the redder your wrists, until you finally explode and lose.

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Each body part is worth a different value; it appears, fittingly, that head shots are worth far more than leg or body shots, but when using a sword or a stick – yes, you beat people up with swords in this game too – the damage appears to be increased.

All of this is primitive guesswork however, because the actual damage system is entirely obscured. You can only tell how well you’re doing based on the colour of their wrists. This makes the combat engaging and surprising, as you don’t quite know how close you are to victory when being swarmed by enemies without paying close attention.

On the other hand, it gets very frustrating having to constantly check the wrists rather than doing what you’re here to do – beat up stick figures.

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The inclusion of a myriad of weapons is a nice touch, adding to the visceral pleasure that is hitting stick figures in very precise locations on their body to make them explode. Each enemy is outfitted to match the genre you’ve picked – the first level is star wars themed, so you fight Stormtroopers and Darth Vader. Another is Avengers, so you fight the Marvel bad guy consortium, and on and on.

Beating up enemies in zero gravity is a lot more fun than you might think.

The change of pace is nice, but the gameplay stays basically the same, only the helmets differ. It would be nice if the gameplay actually altered as the level design shifted.

The greatest sin of Stickman Warriors Online is, however, is the proclivity towards advertisements. Every single time you finish a level, whether you win or lose, you are beset by a 5 second ad. Ads are a part of mobile gaming, but the oversaturation of them ruins any kind of immersion that might be achievable in a beat ‘em up stick figure game.

Stickman Warriors Online serves as a reminder of a few things:

  • That too many advertisements can annoy anyone, no matter the quality of the gameplay.
  • That beating up stickfigures has always, and will always, be extremely fun.

And, finally,

  • Don’t judge a game by its generic title, nor the opening images. Beating up enemies in zero gravity is a lot more fun than you might think.
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Plus, beating up stick figures with lightsabers. If you don’t mind too many ads, what’s not to like?

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