Max Injury only hurts your attention span

Oct 12, 2009
Games

There’s a reason Max Injury by Box Shaped Games wasn’t called Max Pain. In addition to being confused with this decade’s noir shooter Max Payne, it might also be confused for being something it isn’t—a clever addition to the game realm of worthy iPhone apps. In Max Injury, the goal is to flick and drag […]

There’s a reason Max Injury by Box Shaped Games wasn’t called Max Pain. In addition to being confused with this decade’s noir shooter Max Payne, it might also be confused for being something it isn’t—a clever addition to the game realm of worthy iPhone apps.

In Max Injury, the goal is to flick and drag a crash-test dummy through as much punishment as possible while Tom And Jerry-like sound effects and brightly colored, arbitrary numbers stand in for any visible signs of wear and tear. Perhaps if the names of the injuries incurred were indicated and the controls weren’t so unpredictably wonky (simple taps and strategically placed dragging motions register simultaneously), Max Injury might be more gripping. Instead, the whole package feels undercooked and broken—especially since your guy can get jammed against a wall and keep racking up points until you feel like playing more honestly.

Worse, it isn’t even an original idea. Console mini-games have trudged this ground with better results, so is Max Injury worth a download? No.

Even cute additions like the ability to add your photo to the crash-test dummy seem unplanned. Adding a photo puts an entire photo around the dummy’s face. So unless you want to take a special photo for Max Injury, you’ll need to settle for having head wrapped the dummy’s entire face like a drum.

Diversions like that, though, do little when every level in the game is nothing but a small corridor-like obstacle course that can be defeated in about 8 seconds. That means you’ll be spending more time downloading Max Injury than playing the game.

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David Wolinsky

David Wolinsky is the Chicago city editor for The Onion's A.V. Club and is also the  undisputed 1994 Blockbuster store champion at collecting bananas in Donkey Kong Country.

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