Glides – Gliding Towards Frustration

Jun 25, 2018
Puzzle

Glides is a simplistic gliding game that has you controlling an errant triangle (or… something)  through rings and around asteroids.

Glides is a simplistic gliding game that has you controlling an errant triangle (or… something)  through rings and around asteroids.

Glides takes pretty familiar gameplay of gliding games and tries to bring something new to the genre. Just like in other games, your little figurine is desperate to fall down and die, or crash into something stupidly. The only way to stop them is to tap on the screen sufficiently so as to give you velocity.

Gigantic meteoroids serve to impede your progress, as well as the continuous, periodic smaller rocks that seem perfectly placed to strike you in flight.

Gigantic meteoroids serve to impede your progress, as well as the continuous, periodic smaller rocks that seem perfectly placed to strike you in flight.

Your objectives are to fly within the center of the rings, earning points based on how many you’ve managed to hit consecutively. Once you manage to hit several at a time without touching the rings (even though it’d be perfectly fine in basketball!) you’ll enter frenzy mode, putting you in a position of being much faster than normal, as well as earning far more points.

The problem comes with the way Glides has dealt with trajectory and momentum. It is far too easy to lose control of your little triangle and tap the edges of the rings, thus nullifying your frenzy and losing the continuous cycle of extra points.

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When you’ve managed to get a hold of the trajectories, you unlock new objects to fly around with, but it’s not entirely clear if their speeds or weight changes. It certainly feels like they do, but it’s rather imperceptible whether or not they’re actually moving differently. It all feels rather confusing.

Glides’ major flaw is the feeling it gives you when playing. Certain games have the ability to give you a unique feeling when playing. For some of the better ones, it’s a gentle tingling of satisfaction; the pleasure you feel at a job well done or a puzzle rightly solved.

The feeling generated by Glides is not one of intense pleasure, however; it is one of curious frustration. Some people are capable of feeling an intense sensation when listening to certain noise decibels, known as ASMR, whereas others are capable, apparently, of sensing within gaming the element of cringe.

If you are one of those unlucky ones, Glides will feel you with an intense, overwhelmingly unpleasant feeling of dissatisfaction and frustration. Your toes will curl, your arms will shudder and the gall will rise to your throat.

Your toes will curl, your arms will shudder and the gall will rise to your throat.

It’s not that Glides is an especially bad game; it’s made well enough, its art style is decidedly attractive, it’s just that the feeling it gives you is one of incredibly unpleasant, excruciating pain.

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Glides is a simplistic game, one firmly rooted in an established genre, borrowing from well-known gameplay tactics. However, Glides just doesn’t do it well enough to bear mentioning.

Glides needs far less frustrating, cringe-inducing gameplay to deserve any kind of recognition. It is distressing to play, and all the more distressing to continue playing and discover very little for your efforts.

Our Rating

ProsCons
The art style is sufficiently enjoyable.The gameplay is far too frustrating. It’s extremely easy to suddenly die and want to throw your phone across the room.
Rating
3/10
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Sam Eskenazi

Sam is a YouTuber, Streamer & Games Journalist. He loves to cook and listen to the sound of his own voice, ideally at the same time.

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